Self-Inflicted...

Sometimes animosity from the past overpowers my body like a parasite and makes me bitter inside. Why does the past affect me so much? Even though I know that reminiscing about the people that hurt me will only breathe life into wounds that are healing, I always find myself trying to figure out why people do the things they do. In the process, all my wounds become fresh. It has become a viscous cycle now. A cycle that  is sadly self-inflicted….

Citrus-Ginger Chicken

This chicken is low in fat and low carbohydrates as well. For someone who is looking for delicious chicken for a wrap, salad or even as a main dish with a healthy side, this is excellent! Try it with mandarin slices in the salad. Hope you enjoy this wonderful and easy recipe.

Ingredients:
2 1/2 tbsp low-sugar orange marmalade
1/8 tsp grated lemon/lime rind
1 1/2 tbsp fresh lemon/lime juice
1/2 tsp grated peeled fresh ginger
cooking spray
4 (8 oz) skinless, boneless chicken breast halves

Prep grill. Combine first 4 ingredients in a small bowl. Apply mixture to chicken reserving some for basting and place on grill. Cook for about 15 mins, turning twice and basting with marinade. Once chicken is cooked, let it rest so juices can run through. Serve with desired side, over couscous, rice or side of veggies. Also excellent in a salad or wrap.

Serves 4
Cals: approx 220
Fat 2.5 grams

Ghosts of the Past

Life plays cruel jokes sometimes. It knocks you down, but we all must find it within ourselves to get up and fight back. We all have the courage within us to get back up. But sometimes when the Ghosts of the Past come in our dreams, the same fear enthralls our minds all over again. It feels as if they had never left. 

Last year wasn't easy for as most of you might know but I found the motivation and courage from within to fight. The support from my loving family and friends helped me as well. During this struggle to find myself again, I thought I had forgiven and forgotten. I thought I had buried my past. But I never had assurance of it.

A couple of days ago, my ex boyfriend decided to contact me. It was an odd feeling at first. I woke up to his email on my iPhone and thought it was rather peculiar. At that time, I didn't pay it much mind and went on with the daily activities. When I finally sat down to realize that he had just emailed after a year, a year since our breakup, I felt a numbness. A part of me wanted to cry out loud. The feelings were unreal.

It wasn't the feeling of wanting him back. Or the feeling of "I told you so" but it was a feeling of pain. The pain I had felt when we parted ways. I had done a great job of repressing my memories of us. Suddenly, all of them were racing in my mind. It was as if someone had played a movie.

This morning I woke up and realized something had changed about me. I wasn't longing for him like I did last year. Its true that I am in a happy and loving relationship right now but everyone has the ability (not the right) to desire someone else then their partner. I'm not talking on just a physical level, but emotionally. I could have very easily desired him and nobody would know; however, I don't have the desire anymore.

Its liberating in many ways. I can say hello to him and not feel my heart jumping out. The relationship he and I had has changed. The Ghosts of the Past do not haunt me anymore.