I love you....

Time after time, we hear those three precious words in our life. We hear it from our parents, children, siblings (sometimes) friends and ofcourse, lovers. After a while, those words become just words to some of us. We forget the significance of those three words; its strength. To many times in our lives, we forget to tell people how much we love them. I only see a few people that tell their loved ones that they love them. Why do we slowly forget to tell people we love as we did when we first started off?

I try my best to tell people that I love them. I try not to do it too often, but is everyday too often? Personally, I don't think so. As long as you don't forget the significance of it. I realized today that I don't tell my mom enough how much I love her. Maybe when you love someone everyday, you "figure" that they know it. But sometimes, they don't...

So remember to tell that special person in your life that you love them. I'm not saying, do it everyday! But hey, remind them... I love you. It still brings a smile my face and I'm sure it will also bring a smile to theirs.

Key to Opportunity....

Remember..........

Life is full of opportunities...

Each one of those opportunities is a door...

Every door has a lock...

Each lock has a key....

All you have to do is find the key....

And unlock an opportunity.

Noone

When the whole world made me cry,
You wiped my tears.
When I fell weak,
You became my strength.
When I was afraid,
You became my courage.
When I was kicked out,
You gave me a home.
When I needed a shoulder,
You gave me yours.
When everyone gave up on me,
You still believed.
When I had noone,
I had you.
Because you aren't around.
I sit here and cry,
I yearn for a shoulder,
I look for a place to go,
Fear enthralls me,
Today, I fall alone,
Because, today, I have noone.

Seasons....

Today, as I was browsing through some really great writing, I came across a post of a blog that I follow very closely. I read Shelly's blog almost daily. Her updates are an inspiration for me. I hope be such a great writer one day.

Her post that caught my eye was "Changing Seasons". Now, I've already written about Fall but her approach was quite different and refreshing. She wrote about the Changing Seasons of Life. Oh my, that hit very close to home. My life has had many seasons.

2009, even though it isn't over yet, has been a very enlightening year for me. My experience in India changed me dramatically. I think earlier this year, I was in a blizzard. So, I believe it’s wise to say that I was in the Winter season of this year.

Right now, I'm back in school and trying to get my life back together. Do you know what season I have crept into? Spring. Yes, I am in the season of Spring in my life right. (At least for this year) It feels like everything died out in the "winter" of my life and today, I am slowly growing into a new person. I picture a small plant cracking out of barren land. And hopefully one day, this plant will be a full grown mature tree.

So, the changes in the seasons of our lives are different, yet very interesting. Amazing, how the seasons of life change, isn't it?

Pumpkin Cheesecake

With the holiday's just around the corner, I think its best that I start gathering my Thanksgiving recipes and start posting away. Here's is what you will need for the Pumpkin Cheesecake:

Crust:

1 3/4 cups graham cracker crumbs
3 tbsp light brown sugar
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 stick melted salted butter

Filling:

3 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, at room temperature
1 (15-ounce) can pureed pumpkin
3 eggs plus 1 egg yolk
1/4 cup sour cream
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/8 tsp fresh ground nutmeg
1/8 tsp ground cloves
2 tbsp all-purpose flour
1 tsp vanilla extract

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
For crust:

In medium bowl, combine crumbs, sugar and cinnamon. Add melted butter. Press down flat into a 9-inch springform pan. Set aside.
For filling:

Beat cream cheese until smooth. Add pumpkin puree, eggs, egg yolk, sour cream, sugar and the spices. Add flour and vanilla. Beat together until well combined.

Pour into crust. Spread out evenly and place oven for 1 hour. Remove from the oven and let sit for 15 minutes. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 4 hours

Out of the Loop

I'm sitting in class... listening to two guys talk about how they stole toys from their work and how the rest of the class is pathetic! Earlier today while talking to a friend, I had realized that Junior College is just like high school. Now, I can confirm that.

Now, you must remember, that I haven't been to "regular" school for about 5-6 years. I went to a private college for my Pharmacy Technology certificate and everyone there was "grown". Most students were adults in their late 20's or later. Everyone was mature. Now that I'm at a JC, I feel like that outkast I was in high school.

In high school, I didn't have any "normal" friends nor did I belong to a click of any sort. I hung out with the guys and I usually skipped lunch to go off campus to "hang out". Why do I have the urge to skip class again and GO HOME! Maybe because I'm not in my comfort zone. Hmmmm....

Happy Diwali!

Mitha Khaja

Ingredients:

1 ½ cup flour
½ cup Jaggery
1cup water
¼ tbsp cardamom powde
1 tbsp Ghee
Ghee for frying




Heat the water and jaggery until it dissolves in the water. Strain and cool it and add cardamom powder and ghee to the flour. Knead the flour with jaggery water till the dough becomes stiff. Breaking it into 24-25 parts, knead and roll it into 4'' rounds. Keep it aside so as to make it bit dry. Fry it in hot ghee until its color becomes golden. Next drain and cool it till the khajas becomes crisper. Serve it or keep it in an airtight container.

Baked Salmon

Ingredients:
4 (6-8oz) Salmon fillets or steaks
1 packet "Zesty Herb" mix by Grill Mates
1/4 cup olive oil
1 lemon sliced

 Combine Zesty Herb mix and olive oil. Mix well. Spread over fillets thoroughly and let marinate for 4-6 hrs. Preheat oven at 375 degrees Celsius. Place lemon slices on top of fillets and bake covered for 15-20 mins. Uncover and bake for another 20-25 minutes or until Salmon is flaky. Squeeze fresh lemon juice on top right before serving.

Fall...

Pretty red, yellow and orange leaves are almost here! Fall officially started last month but now I feel it in the air! The chilled days... the cool breezes... the time to pull out the sweaters and scarves!

Fall is my favorite season of the year. Not too cold, not too hot... Just right. I love layering my clothes! Different colors (yes I can swear black!) What a lovely time of the year. The weather is awesome too. Right now my mornings are a bit too chilly... *seems like winter mornings almost* but I love cuddling with my blanket. I can also make all the warm foods now! Yes!

The baking begins now. During summer, its sorta hard to make the at home comfy foods. Its more about the light foods like salads and more summery flavors but fall allows you to make a combination of both! I can whip up my hot cocoas now.. my cardamom coffees... Lovely! I am super excited but I'm way more excited about my scarves!

I've been waiting for this weather to arrive. When I was in India, I bought these beautiful scarves for dirt cheap. They are vibrant and sooo sooo beautiful! I can't wait to pair them up with my favorite sweaters and shirts and BOOTS! yes! I am stoked!

Also exciting about Fall is the colors of the trees. I love it! I can't wait to bring out my camera and start snapping some gorgeous pictures! Nothing like the oranges in the leaves. My favorite is driving down a deserted street.. with leaves just blowing in the winds and watching the gorgeous colors. Its amazing how the leaves changes colors isnt it! I'm so glad that Fall is finally here!!!!

Coconut Ladoo/Burfi

Ingredients:

4 cups shredded coconut
1 14 oz can condensed milk
1 tsp cardamom powder
1/2 ghee or butter to grease pan*
*few drops of food color (optional)



On medium heat, add coconut shreds to a non stick pan. Stir until a slight gold color. Add condensed milk and cardamom powder along with food color if desired. Stir and cook until the mixture leaves the side of the pan. Pour on greased plate. Let cool and cut into desired shape or shape into ladoos as shown in the picture.

* You can use Pam spray for baking instead of ghee or butter to grease plate. For double layer in different colors, separate batches and spread in layers. Let bottom layer cool for a mintue before spreading top layer.

Kaju Katli (Cashew burfi)

Ingredients:
2 cups of cashews
1 1/2 cup sugar
3/4 cup water
About 20 strings of saffron (optional)
Edible Silver Sheets (Varak) (optional)

Grind the cashew nuts to powder. Dry grinder or a coffee grinder works the best.On very low heat in a heavy bottom pan roast the cashew nut powder for about 4 minutes or until powder just get warm. Do not heat for any longer otherwise powder will start getting oily.In a saucepan, boil the sugar and water together on medium heat until syrup is 1 thread or 225 degrees F on a candy thermometer. Next add the saffron to the syrup mix it well. Saffron is optional. Turn off the heat. Add the cashew powder to the syrup and mix it well, making sure there are no lumps. To check the right consistency take a little mix in a spoon, you should be able to roll this into softball. Next spread the mix quick to the greased plate. Spread before the mix cools off. Allow burfi to cool and then cut them in the shapes you will like.
Optional: You can lay the silver sheets on top of the dough before cutting. Makes for a very nice presentation.

Microwave Peda

Ingredients:
3 cups instant milk powder
1 14oz can condensed milk
4 oz butter/ghee
1/4 tsp cardamom powder
pinch of fresh grated nutmeg
*Raw sugar, colored sugars and nuts for decorating (optional)



Melt butter in a microwave safe bowl. Add all other ingredients. Microwave for 3 minutes, stirring mixture every minute. Set aside mixture until cool enough to handle. With greased palms, form round balls and flatten. You can decorate using different colored sugar. You may also use stamps for different decorations.

Today....

Its been a year since we parted
But today, I miss you....
I won't lie and say you're on my mind everyday
But today, you're all I can think of.
Since it ended, I never asked why?
But today, I wonder, why?
When you left, I told myself I'd be strong
But today, I've fallen weak
When my heart broke, I promised myself not to love again....
But today, I miss love
My world seemed fine without you,
But today, I want you.
My tears had dried up
But today, I cry for you.
I thought I had forgotten.
But today, I remember you...
Today I remember us.

For: BeAze.

Speechless

Today has been one of those days for me. I've been thinking about a few select things all day. Now, on a normal day, my brain runs about a million miles per hour with concerns of all sort but today, it was mellowed out. But that was only because I was saddened by the few select thoughts that I was thinking about. What were these things? Love, companionship, trust and friendship.

Now, almost all Indian women know that tomorrow is Karwa Chauth. Now, if you know anything about me, you know that I was supposed to be married this year. Even though I was the one who called the wedding off in India, a part of me still wonders. Around this time, I was supposed to be in India celebrating Karwa Chauth. No, I'm not regretting my decision. Not even for a minute! BUT, you do end up thinking, what if. The lonliness is getting to me I think.

That brings me to companionship. There are certain days when I wish to just hug someone and cry because the feeling of lonliness just overpowers all my thoughts. I miss going to see that special someone. Laying your head on their shoulder and just saying, babe, my day was terrible! Or getting that simple but loving foot massage. Or just laying in their lap and letting them play with your hair, while watching sports = / I miss all that.

While all these things were going through my mind, I was also thinking about friendship and trust. Now, many times I tie trust along with love... but this time, trust and friendship were partnered together. I've been going on a rocky road with a friendship as of lately only because my trust seemed to be betrayed but honestly, I don't know how to handle it. As of right now, I can't share much because I still have to find the words but its taking up alot of my thoughts. Why do people betray? Why do people lie? Not just in friendship but with anything. Why tell me one thing but never ever live up to it? Why even say it? So many questions but it seems like I can't find any answers these days. I need to find them soon. These questions are destroying me slowly but surely.

Wild Weekend

I've been meaning to write about my weekend experience but couldn't add it all up. I've had this weird urge to write for the past 3 days but couldn't find a topic or words to write. I sat down many times with either my book or my laptop and NOTHING! I couldn't write. So today, I sit in a corner in my living room- its now "my corner" and just started writing. Hope its good.

This weekend was quite an experience. I had a "friend" from L.A. visit Sacramento. I must admit, I had a blast. Had some amazing food, drinks and VIP treatment at a club but something else happened. I learned that people aren't what they tell you to be. Its amazing that people can tell you all kinds of things just because they think its the "right" thing to say but never live up to it. I don't expect anything from anyone automatically but when you give me a set of rules that you live by, I then expect you to live up to them. Don't tell me you hate liars when you lie yourself. I don't like hypocrites.

That's something I learned today too. I dislike hypocrites. I believe that if you live by certain "rules" then you should follow those rules. Why expect others to be a certain way when you can't live up to it yourself. Quite irritating!

I learned something about myself too. I'm sorta old fashioned. There was a female at the club I was at on Saturday. She exposed most of her private body parts and let guys "play" with her. I felt embarrassed for her. I actually had to close my eyes. Guys were just staring at her. Some even had a disgusted look on their face. Later on that night, one of my friends decided to have a dance with that exact female. I was enraged! I felt that the people that I associate shouldn't associate with others that are disgraceful and nasty. My friend thought I was old-fashioned.  Am I?

Religion

Religion: belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe.

That is the definition of religion I found on the Internet. Now, for me, religion is faith. It is what I believe in. Born and "labeled" a Hindu, there are many things that I don't know about my religion but there are many things I have learned and some things that I do believe in.

First and foremost, I think "my" religion is humanity. This ties hand in hand with Hinduism for me. Being a good human being. Doing the "basics" in life. You know, loving everyone, being polite and caring. Being kind to people and helping others. Being there for family and friends. These are all my beliefs.

Now there are more concentrated things about Hinduism that I do believe in. Like not eating meat. No I'm not a vegetarian but the days that I fast and pray, I don't eat meat or drink alcohol. It’s just a personal belief. I also believe in Astrology. Now that might not tie in with religion for some but for me, it does. The alignments of the stars during my birth time and what solutions and prayers I have to do if they aren't aligned in my favor. I also believe in praying in front of a sculpture. There are times when I do just close my eyes and pray but there are certain rituals and customs one must follow in Hinduism. That doesn't mean I don't pray to god when I'm not in a temple. I do, all the time!

There are many other "little" things that I follow as a Hindu but honestly, it’s not only because I'm a Hindu, and it’s because those little things are what I believe in. It is my religion. Not a pre-written set of rules that I must follow.