God woke me up...

Its not normal for me to wake up before 8 am on a Monday morning... it nearly never happens. Except for today. Something woke me up at 6:28 am. I woke up and the first thing on my mind was, its Monday, I should pray. I've been trying my best to pray ever Monday at the shrine in my house. Have been doing it quite religiously (no pun intended, well maybe a little) for a long while now. It soothes me. Calms me down. And, it gives me an excuse to talk to him. The almighty.

Some find it funny that even in this day and age, I'm this religious. I'm really not nearly as religious as many others. I just know that there is a God. He/She listens and my prayers are answered. I keep saying He because I am a devotee of Lord Shiva and Lord Shiva is a male representative of God.

So, here I am on a Monday morning, a Monday morning that I don't have any classes on, awake and thinking... God, thank you for the wake up "call". Now I can go about my day peacefully and happily. Knowing that I began my morning with you. I really do love you God. I do.

Decisions, Changes... and this hot weather!

I have a ton of Spanish homework to finish before class tomorrow and here I am writing a blog entry. I need to write before I do anything else though. Because without "venting," I doubt I will be able to do anything. So we hit 107 degrees today here in Sacramento. Nothing unusual for Sacramento weather BUT its almost September and isn't Fall supposed to be right around the corner or something like that? I swear Sacramento weather is bipolar. We went from nice 80's weather to 100 + Crazy I tell ya!

So now on to more serious matters such as changes in my life and decisions that I need to make. I've noticed that the way I think things through has changed a lot lately. I still think about others but I have been factoring in my future into the equations, if you must say. I think hitting 25 was sort of an eye opener for me. To tell you the truth, it scared me a little. When I was 18, I had so many goals of who I wanted to be when I turn 25 and honestly, today I am nothing like what I wanted to be. I thought that by 25, I would be married, would have a great paying job and would live the dream, but its totally the opposite. BUT, I am exactly where I want to be as a person. My understanding of the world, my attitude towards life and just my personality, I feel like I am a better person today then I was at 18. So yes, I have grown so very much and my decisions are influenced by it.

I keep saying decisions and you must be thinking, what decisions is she talking about! Well, I have a few to make. First and foremost, I don't know what to do for the holidays this year. E wants me to visit him and his family in VA. At first I agreed to this but then today my younger sister blurted out that if I am not here, they won't celebrate Christmas. No tree. No presents. Nothing. I felt terrible. Didn't know what to say or think. I want them to get used to not having me around. I want them to know what its like without me here all the time. And that brings me to my next decision I need to make. E and I are planning to living together soon. He wants me to move to VA for the next couple of years so I can finish my Undergrad and we can be a part of each others lives. Then he said we can move to California. Now that seems reasonable right? But I have so much to think of before I make any decisions. I mean look at me, I can't even decide if I wanna go away for Christmas and here I am trying to see if moving in with him for 2 years would be a good idea. I know its a good idea, but what about my family?

On the opposite side, I keep thinking about my life too. What about me. If E and I continue this long distance relationship, it will be VERY difficult. Not seeing each for months. Not being able to talk some days because of our busy schedules. Its heart breaking. I mean, its difficult right now. Some days I wait and wait for his email or for him to get on skype so we can chat. Some days I just wish I could hold his hand or lay on his shoulder to unwind. Or just lay with him and enjoy his company. Not being able to do all that is difficult. But then, not being able to spend time with family will also be difficult. I'm stuck in this viscous thought process that quite frankly gives me a migraine. I've had one all day today because I've been thinking so much. Thinking about school, (btw, school session- fall 2010 is here! and kicking my butt), life, family, love, peace of mind, future. Its frustrating. All advice is most welcome!

Merry Berry Jam

Ingredients:

1 lb fresh/frozen strawberries
1/2 lb fresh/frozen blackberries
1/2 lb fresh/frozen pitted cherries
1 1/3 cup sugar (more or less according to taste or sweetness of fruit)
2 tbsp lemon juice.

Directions:

Combine fruit, sugar, and lemon juice in large bowl. Let stand at room temperature 2 hours, stirring occasionally. Transfer fruit mixture to large saucepan and bring to boil over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally. Mash to thick puree with potato masher. Reduce heat to medium and boil gently until mixture begins to thicken, stirring often, about 20 minutes.Test to see if the jam has gelled. If so, turn off heat and wait for jam to cool. Jar as desired. If this is stored in sterilized, sealed jars, it will be good for approximately 6 months in a refrigerator or 1-3 months if not sealed.

Roti

Ingredients:

2 cups whole wheat/ all-purpose flour
1 cup warm water
1 tbsp oil
pinch of salt
Flour for rolling and dusting





Directions:


In a large bowl, mix together flour, salt and 1/2 tbsp oil. Form at well in the middle of the mixture and add 1/2 cup warm water. Mix well and add the remaining water 1/8 cup at a time. You may need more or less water depending on your flour. Form the dough into a ball and add the remaining 1/2 tbsp oil all over the dough. Knead the dough well for approximately 1 minute. Set dough aside covered with a damp cloth for about 10 minutes. Heat a non-stick skillet, griddle or tawa on medium heat. Divide dough into 5-7 equal parts. Form balls and then flattened into disks. Dust with flour and roll out into 8-10 inch circle. Use extra flour to dust as needed. Place rolled dough onto the griddle and flip after 10 seconds or once you see tiny bubbles forming on the roti. Let roti cook for about 15 more seconds and then flip one more time to fully cook. The roti may start forming a balloon indicating it is done. Remove off griddle and smear with butter or ghee and store in a container lined with paper towels. Repeat the process for the rest of the rotis. Enjoy with your favorite curry, chutney, raita or yogurt.

Time well spent...

I just returned from my vacation. I spent a week in Dominican Republic and a few days in San Diego, CA. Both locations were awesome. The days I spent with my babe, Eduardo, in DR were simply awesome. Each time I visit him, whereever it may be, I realize that I fall in love with him all over again. The little things he does for me make my heart smile. I can't describe how lucky I feel to have someone who is supportive, caring, loving, and so kind to me. He makes me so happy and each day with him is wonderful.

Visiting DR had many other benefits. After taking a "tour" of the place, I realized how close to my heart that environment was. It reminded me so much of home. Home that I left over 13 years ago and have yet to return to. The food, the people, the culture. Everything was so similar to Fiji. I felt like I belonged there. Of course, there were many differences as well but when your heart is happy, its hard to point out things that are unsettling. I'm absolutely thankful to god for giving me the opportunity to visit DR.

The visit to Samana, DR was jaw dropping. Unlike Bavaro, DR, this place was untouched. No tourists, no crowds, just peaceful white sandy beaches with gorgeous turquoise waters. It was so serene and calming. Contrary to Samana was Bavaro and Los Terrenas. They were both tourist spots and were somewhat busy but the experience there was also nothing less of greatness. Each day spent in DR was magical. I'm not sure if it was the gorgeous island, its people, its food or because I was there with Eduardo. I think it was a combination of them all.

Last year around this time I came back from India with such an experience that changed me forever and this year, I was blessed enough to visit another part of this world that broadened my horizons and gave me the opportunity to learn about people that are different yet so much like me. The beautiful people of Dominican Republic certainly have left an imprint in my heart. Their life, struggle, culture, kindness and love will stay with me forever. Thank you Domincana!